https://www.google.com/search?q=guided+salvia+trips
-->
http://home.comcast.net/~sresnick2/hookah.htm
Reading this, anyone would be curious to try it, wouldn't they?
Yet all I've gotten from Salvia in two years is many "insights" or impressions, sometimes profound-seeming at times, and mild hallucinogenic effects, including "swirling" in the field-of-vision. I guess I just kept "chickening out" rather than go deeper, or my 20x bought extract and my ~20x (or 10x?) homemade extract were just too weak to take me past level 3 or 4.
I'll probably go deeper eventually, but I've come to believe that wherever I may be able to "travel" on salvia, it doesn't really matter, because I *chose* to be here, on earth, at this point in time, and I should honor my own choice by not (seemingly) trying to escape from it, even temporarily. It's probably okay to do once-in-a-while, but doesn't seem right to do very frequently. Still, as I've said, I think I could continue to experiment approximately monthly...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
red pill
I was thinking again how Salvia seems like the "red pill", this evening, but it has little relevance to anything right now. Except that I need to be honest with myself, and honest with others when I *do* volunteer information, but probably should be careful of what I volunteer. ...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_pill_and_blue_pill
Also, it's been two days since my most recent chewed salvia experiment, walking home from Greenlake and getting the strong impression that I could get in trouble if I do that at a higher dose (some cop might stop me and wonder if I'm a danger to the public, take me in for questioning, despite Salvia being legal; one in that state may be perceived as being "scary") ... I'm not sure how accurate that impression was, but it seemed accurate at the time. I realized I could not dare attempt an "intense" chewed-salvia experience in public, even if in public means being among total strangers (walking around Greenlake or back from Greenlake). Perhaps that should be obvious to me after an experience I had near the end of a hike, but the context was different and it didn't seem so obvious at the time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_pill_and_blue_pill
Also, it's been two days since my most recent chewed salvia experiment, walking home from Greenlake and getting the strong impression that I could get in trouble if I do that at a higher dose (some cop might stop me and wonder if I'm a danger to the public, take me in for questioning, despite Salvia being legal; one in that state may be perceived as being "scary") ... I'm not sure how accurate that impression was, but it seemed accurate at the time. I realized I could not dare attempt an "intense" chewed-salvia experience in public, even if in public means being among total strangers (walking around Greenlake or back from Greenlake). Perhaps that should be obvious to me after an experience I had near the end of a hike, but the context was different and it didn't seem so obvious at the time.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
lay off it?
I'm thinking if I land a new job soon, which I need to do, it's time to lay off the salvia for a while. But since I'm still curious to continue the explorations, I have a compromise; my sessions are to be done on the last Friday-evening of each month. This way I should have plenty of time for preparation, and an entire weekend to get back to "normal". Why would I want so much recovery-time? I'm starting to get concerned about possible lasting effects on memory or attention. I feel like I'm in a mild stupor today, and much of this week, as if I were either severely sleep deprived (though I'm not) or otherwise off-balance. There are many factors, like not bothering to take vitamins lately, and having a rather unbalanced diet. Overall I seem fairly healthy though, so I think the major fact is daily experiments with Salvia this week (none today). So I've come to the conclusion that it may be a very bad thing to do daily, and that I should have an absolute limit of once a week, aiming toward 2 to 4 times per year in the long-term. I think the "fear" that drives me to experiment daily is that once I stop doing it daily I might not want to do it again for a long time. That happens sometimes; I go a couple of weeks without trying any, then I keep asking myself if I want to do it again and keep answering "no way; I hate that stuff!" It's hard work doing salvia, and I feel I only do it right now because I have some hard problems to solve, and once they are solved and I'm back fully-engaged in the "game" of life, there will be no need for regular/frequent use of a kappa-opioid agonist. Sure, it's the "red pill", and opens the door to the "other side" of this holo-fractal "matrix" of reality, but all that doesn't matter right now, because as long as I choose to continue playing this "game" of life (and I do), there are some requirements I need to meet, like making money, and doing salvia *really* isn't helping me do that in any apparent way, and might be impairing slightly. What makes me realize this is partly a lingering dizzyness/lightheadedness, and partly a scatterbrained-ness and tendency to pace around and avoid things I should be doing.
Although, there's been the opposite at times. Sometimes I felt like a smoked extract knocked me out of many of the time-wasting activities I was engaged in and shifted me toward something that might/could theoretically be more useful.
I'm still a little undecided because there is somewhere I'm trying to go with this. I want to reach a point of energy-centeredness from which I operate most of the time. A point I might reach, temporarily, with a good dose of DMT. Or maybe there's some sort of meditation or "fractal energetic yoga" (per Martin W. Ball) that can get me in that state. But Martin says the symmetric yoga developed out of the unity-state, not the other way around.
(Later)
I think this almost-drugged-super-tired state I've been in is due to
Although, there's been the opposite at times. Sometimes I felt like a smoked extract knocked me out of many of the time-wasting activities I was engaged in and shifted me toward something that might/could theoretically be more useful.
I'm still a little undecided because there is somewhere I'm trying to go with this. I want to reach a point of energy-centeredness from which I operate most of the time. A point I might reach, temporarily, with a good dose of DMT. Or maybe there's some sort of meditation or "fractal energetic yoga" (per Martin W. Ball) that can get me in that state. But Martin says the symmetric yoga developed out of the unity-state, not the other way around.
(Later)
I think this almost-drugged-super-tired state I've been in is due to
- coffee (not today)
- poor sleep
- stress
- diet/mineral/vitamin deficiencies
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
financial crisis and my state of annoyance.
Still mildly frustrated that I didn't sell $4700 worth of options a couple of weeks ago (or at least $2000) but instead got distracted and failed to fill an order, stay out of the market til last week, and make back $10,000 to $50,000 this week by buying a couple dozen options on friday. I *knew* to, didn't I? Somewhere deep down? (I sure wanted to buy on Friday...) But always seem to do the opposite of what I know to do. Anyway, I haven't been very productive since about 1998, so I guess wiping myself out and putting myself $52,000 in debt and in a situation where I don't have rent is a perfect way to force myself to solve these problems. Maybe I'll become homeless in a few days, that might be an interesting experiment while I look for a $30/hr job or better... I'd rather pay my credit cards off faster without having rent to worry about. I shouldn't have to pay rent after putting $600,000 into other people and their property, anyway. 10 acres worth, in total... I guess I should be hiring a lawyer to go after some of that property. But I can't get back the $2 million it's cost me... I guess I should just build a better site than facebook and take over the social-networking world! Or, actually, something more original than that. I have many ideas. I guess I just have to start digging in and trying to implement some of them. Can I do so in time to save myself from a financial crisis? Not really, because I'm already in one.
So this is what having a few leaves this morning takes me to?
Just bring up the same stuff that's on my mind anyway... nothing new. But I'm ranting and raving and practically biting off the head of every contractor that tries to call me about a job opportunity, today. Not good...
So this is what having a few leaves this morning takes me to?
Just bring up the same stuff that's on my mind anyway... nothing new. But I'm ranting and raving and practically biting off the head of every contractor that tries to call me about a job opportunity, today. Not good...
no news
I haven't been writing new reports lately, because I don't have any new insights to report, or none that seemed particularly profound at the time.
This blog post mentions some of the same the same insights I have had (namely that physical reality is not "real", per se, as insane as that may sound), and overall is a far more interesting blog than I am likely to write anytime soon:
http://unchartedjourney.blogspot.com/2010/08/salvia-insights.html
==
I wrote this as a reply to a poorly-written web page.
I hate to cite it because it's really not worth reading, but here it is:
lookthatuponline.com/2010/03/effective-way-of-using-salvia-divinorum-extract/
My reply is below:
Who writes stuff like this? Bad information is worse than no information at all; and this is very poor English and not accurate.
Salvia extract is typically smoked, though vaporization may work as well. Reports of success with vaporization are few; it's generally best to just get a very high strength extract such as 40x or better, and be careful to inhale *all* of the smoke (to conserve extract). Only do this with a sitter present! And be very conservative on your first dose! 1/20th of a gram of 20X extract, breathed in fully through a glass pipe, is generally enough to go quickly into the salvia-trance and lose touch with "normal" reality, as well as forgetting where you are and what you were just doing.
The chewed experience lasts longer and may be easier to understand and integrate. If you can find a good enough price on bulk leaves to feel comfortable chewing them, you might find the experience more interesting and educational. Salvia is a sort of personality-inhibitor. You may find that your body habits and ego-personality may suddenly seem to be gone, and you are left with a dissociated consciousness which is still in your body but seems to no longer be so tightly attached to the body; at least that is my experience. At high doses (of smoked extract), you may see swirling in the field of vision, and other visual effects. The eerie thing about it is that your brain seems to believe that what it is seeing is *real*, and can be nearly traumatized by the confusion. Perhaps this is a result of Salvia showing you something about the energetic nature of the structure of concensus-reality.
Be careful! Some people may become psychotic in this state (out of fear or panic?), at least temporarily.
This blog post mentions some of the same the same insights I have had (namely that physical reality is not "real", per se, as insane as that may sound), and overall is a far more interesting blog than I am likely to write anytime soon:
http://unchartedjourney.blogspot.com/2010/08/salvia-insights.html
==
I wrote this as a reply to a poorly-written web page.
I hate to cite it because it's really not worth reading, but here it is:
lookthatuponline.com/2010/03/effective-way-of-using-salvia-divinorum-extract/
My reply is below:
Who writes stuff like this? Bad information is worse than no information at all; and this is very poor English and not accurate.
Salvia extract is typically smoked, though vaporization may work as well. Reports of success with vaporization are few; it's generally best to just get a very high strength extract such as 40x or better, and be careful to inhale *all* of the smoke (to conserve extract). Only do this with a sitter present! And be very conservative on your first dose! 1/20th of a gram of 20X extract, breathed in fully through a glass pipe, is generally enough to go quickly into the salvia-trance and lose touch with "normal" reality, as well as forgetting where you are and what you were just doing.
The chewed experience lasts longer and may be easier to understand and integrate. If you can find a good enough price on bulk leaves to feel comfortable chewing them, you might find the experience more interesting and educational. Salvia is a sort of personality-inhibitor. You may find that your body habits and ego-personality may suddenly seem to be gone, and you are left with a dissociated consciousness which is still in your body but seems to no longer be so tightly attached to the body; at least that is my experience. At high doses (of smoked extract), you may see swirling in the field of vision, and other visual effects. The eerie thing about it is that your brain seems to believe that what it is seeing is *real*, and can be nearly traumatized by the confusion. Perhaps this is a result of Salvia showing you something about the energetic nature of the structure of concensus-reality.
Be careful! Some people may become psychotic in this state (out of fear or panic?), at least temporarily.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Set and setting, and when not appropriate
Groups have some spoken, some written, and some unspoken rules. I learned a new rule today. That one is not to take nonprescription drugs during a singles-group event (or something like that; I haven't seen the actual rule.) It might seem obvious, but it wasn't that clear to me. I said I won't do it again. I probably shouldn't be blogging about it, but I wish I could again apologize to "Kari" that I'm not always that way, and (for that matter) that had I not lost $1.3 million this last decade I might not be doing this. Had I not found out that many humans are liars and cheats, again, I wouldn't have the need to try to look "behind the game" and figure out why humans are so insane, and play these games.
Maybe she'll understand, in a few lifetimes. But I mustn't expect people to understand right now. Our species is still growing up. Give it another few hundred years. If we have that much time...
Or maybe we'll all just raise our frequencies as we enter the "aquarian age" and suddenly realize who we truly are, and not be offended by such trivial things...
I guess I scared her. I tried to apologize. But it didn't seem to be working. Then, in frustration, I forgot to even pay her the $5 I agreed to pay for the rideshare...
This was a few weeks ago, when, while coming down from a hike up a mountain, near the bottom, I chewed a few leaves. Maybe up to about 10 (they were crumbled). It hit me near the bottom of the trail, and the only "insight" I was getting was one of shame, and the impression that this was a really bad idea.
Live and learn.
I'll grow out of my second-adolescence by, say, age 50, I figure.
I might like to become an enlightened master, but I guess it's not likely to happen this way. (By engaging in random, unplanned entheogenic/psychedelic experiences. Or even planned ones for that matter?)
Maybe she'll understand, in a few lifetimes. But I mustn't expect people to understand right now. Our species is still growing up. Give it another few hundred years. If we have that much time...
Or maybe we'll all just raise our frequencies as we enter the "aquarian age" and suddenly realize who we truly are, and not be offended by such trivial things...
I guess I scared her. I tried to apologize. But it didn't seem to be working. Then, in frustration, I forgot to even pay her the $5 I agreed to pay for the rideshare...
This was a few weeks ago, when, while coming down from a hike up a mountain, near the bottom, I chewed a few leaves. Maybe up to about 10 (they were crumbled). It hit me near the bottom of the trail, and the only "insight" I was getting was one of shame, and the impression that this was a really bad idea.
Live and learn.
I'll grow out of my second-adolescence by, say, age 50, I figure.
I might like to become an enlightened master, but I guess it's not likely to happen this way. (By engaging in random, unplanned entheogenic/psychedelic experiences. Or even planned ones for that matter?)
Sunday, August 14, 2011
again, breakthrough is a bad goal to have?
I guess I should get past my resentments and just enjoy the game of life. Not try to "break-through" to the "other side" or uncover the veil and see the reality behind the illusion (or Maya). But I'm not totally to the level of acceptance of the path yet (what path? I'm not quite sure...)... I still find entheogens fascinating.
==
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/563419-HPPD-Salvia-Warning
23-05-2011 02:05
To the OP:
It sounds like a salvia-induced existential crisis, not HPPD. It isn't a chemical "break" or physical one--it's going too far into the Salvia world, and being shown the things that humans are not (yet?) meant to see/know. This fucks with people's heads. A bit of salvia is like an injection of extremely concentrated wisdom... and some people cannot handle it. There is a REASON why the secrets of the universe are SECRETS.
Humans like to know everything--but as truth-seekers we need to respect that not all is meant to be known.
I personally have gained a lot of wholesome wisdom from Salvia. I do 5x, 10x. I do not "break through" or go off into other worlds. I allow Salvia to teach me about my own mind.
Let salvia teach you to be a good human, not show you the secrets of the universe for some kind of ego-based metaphysical conquest. It gets dangerous out there.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61731
==
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/563419-HPPD-Salvia-Warning
23-05-2011 02:05
To the OP:
It sounds like a salvia-induced existential crisis, not HPPD. It isn't a chemical "break" or physical one--it's going too far into the Salvia world, and being shown the things that humans are not (yet?) meant to see/know. This fucks with people's heads. A bit of salvia is like an injection of extremely concentrated wisdom... and some people cannot handle it. There is a REASON why the secrets of the universe are SECRETS.
Humans like to know everything--but as truth-seekers we need to respect that not all is meant to be known.
I personally have gained a lot of wholesome wisdom from Salvia. I do 5x, 10x. I do not "break through" or go off into other worlds. I allow Salvia to teach me about my own mind.
Let salvia teach you to be a good human, not show you the secrets of the universe for some kind of ego-based metaphysical conquest. It gets dangerous out there.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61731
Thursday, August 11, 2011
is breakthrough a bad thing to do?
Early "Matrix"-like impressions of the salvia divinorum trance made me feel like this is a "big secret", or maybe even that we "aren't supposed to know". This experiencer confirms that the beings she saw/felt/met on "the other side" (as I keep calling it, though that may not be accurate) do not want to talk to us or tell us what is "there", because we decided to come here, to be immersed in the "game" of life here on earth, and leaving the game, even temporarily on Salvia, may be inappropriate.
So, I don't know, maybe I should stop trying to break-through. Still, I want to make my first pure salvinorin extract, and proceed to make 100X so that I can try, anyway...
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40158
So, I don't know, maybe I should stop trying to break-through. Still, I want to make my first pure salvinorin extract, and proceed to make 100X so that I can try, anyway...
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40158
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
spine-loosening?
I seem to like cracking my neck sometimes. Maybe it's just a bad habit that comes out more when I have a hit of Salvia D., but I don't think so, because most habits of the body, personality and ego seem to drop away when in the Salviaic-trance. Muscle tension does not necessarily leave in a mild dissociative trip induced by a kappa-opioid receptor agonist (Salvinorin-A), but it becomes easy to actively release most body tension just by lying down and letting-go. However, the neck and spine tension in the body seems to remain. So I sometimes think "if I could just loosen up these vertebrae, the person who normally inhabits this body might have a better time living in it." (It's sort-of a subtle joke about the dissociated state to think of myself as a different person when under the influence of Salvia. But since most aspects of the personality temporarily seem to be "gone", including all the resentments that may cycle through my head much of the time, it feels literally true, in a way.) Anyway, it may or may not be a profound realization, but I feel convinced that spinal-loosening exercises (yoga, perhaps?) can improve the whole body's functioning. After all, the nervous-system branches out from the spine, and if the spine is sending pain signals due to tightness in some areas, that must tend to negatively impact the consciousness of the person inhabiting the organism (the body.) Now, I do notice, many constant discomforts become suppressed, then awareness returns to them in the Salviaic state. That's probably why it occurs to me to loosen up my neck and upper-back spinal area when in that state.
This has some good exercises:
http://books.google.com/books?id=1kJiDxQ18BgC&pg=PA130&lpg=PA130&dq=spine+loosen&source=bl&ots=h4VAQSsVoQ&sig=T7Xri-XKwixzeJYNZ7WIIpxEoCU&hl=en&ei=RINATqfnPOPgiALQh-nJBQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=spine%20loosen&f=false
This has some good exercises:
http://books.google.com/books?id=1kJiDxQ18BgC&pg=PA130&lpg=PA130&dq=spine+loosen&source=bl&ots=h4VAQSsVoQ&sig=T7Xri-XKwixzeJYNZ7WIIpxEoCU&hl=en&ei=RINATqfnPOPgiALQh-nJBQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=spine%20loosen&f=false
Sunday, August 7, 2011
more past Salvia insights / Kymatica
In the film Kymatica ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AanQ2mY2jjc ), at 00:06:49, the narrator says "the Earth's resonant frequencies are a result of its form." This reminded me of a couple of mild experiences with chewed Salvia D. leaves in a club-dance situation where I saw that 'it' was all about frequencies and resonance. 'It' being, the dance partly, but moreover relationships aren't about the age of the individuals, but about the resonance between their frequencies. Which isn't to say I should be chasing after girls half my age, necessarily... but whether older or younger, it doesn't necessarily matter. I guess I've had a hangup about age differences for some time... and this seemed to be a somewhat profound realization at the time, even if right now it may not seem so significant.
Another frequency-related insight was that the brain (and body) are a transceiver interfacing the consciousness (from the "soul" or "higher-self"?) to this consensus-reality, or the "Maya" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(illusion) ), and that the brain of a person with Asperger's Syndrome is simply tuned to a different frequency. It may be an oversimplification, but I think there's some accuracy to the analogy.
===
Does smoking Salvia D. annoy the goddess of the Maya? Hah... silly question? But I ask because Salvia tells the experiencer, seemingly rather directly, that the outside world is an illusion. Perhaps Salvia is "lying"? (I don't really think so, exactly, but clearly the higher doses that lead to hallucinatory experiences are confusing, because clearly the "swirling" I saw couldn't have been "real", from the perspective of consensus-reality-consciousness. But maybe it had a reality unto itself?) Certainly it's a confusing state of mind. But I find it interesting how closely it corresponds to the sanskrit concept of "maya" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(illusion) "Essentially, Mahamaya (great Maya) both blinds us in delusion (moha) and has the power to free us from it."
Another frequency-related insight was that the brain (and body) are a transceiver interfacing the consciousness (from the "soul" or "higher-self"?) to this consensus-reality, or the "Maya" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(illusion) ), and that the brain of a person with Asperger's Syndrome is simply tuned to a different frequency. It may be an oversimplification, but I think there's some accuracy to the analogy.
===
Does smoking Salvia D. annoy the goddess of the Maya? Hah... silly question? But I ask because Salvia tells the experiencer, seemingly rather directly, that the outside world is an illusion. Perhaps Salvia is "lying"? (I don't really think so, exactly, but clearly the higher doses that lead to hallucinatory experiences are confusing, because clearly the "swirling" I saw couldn't have been "real", from the perspective of consensus-reality-consciousness. But maybe it had a reality unto itself?) Certainly it's a confusing state of mind. But I find it interesting how closely it corresponds to the sanskrit concept of "maya" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maya_(illusion) "Essentially, Mahamaya (great Maya) both blinds us in delusion (moha) and has the power to free us from it."
Friday, August 5, 2011
Send love to the ego
It occurred to me that rather than trying to destroy the ego, as some DMT experiences might temporarily do, or as some dissociative meditation practices might be able to do in a more lasting way, perhaps we should send love to it.
This blog concurs:
send love to your ego:
http://www.byregion.net/articles-healers/Ego_Love.html
Also http://www.thrivingnow.com/transforming-the-ego/
It also occurs to me that instead of aiming for intense experiences (large amounts of alcohol, psychedelics, listening to music too-loudly, or even roller-coaster rides), perhaps I should learn to be more sensitive to the experiences around me. Enjoy more fully the little things in life, and perhaps the senses will open more fully to the richness of this world's sensory experiences.
I also think meditation could be extremely useful for a path of awakening / greater consciousness, but that's a separate subject.
This blog concurs:
send love to your ego:
http://www.byregion.net/articles-healers/Ego_Love.html
Also http://www.thrivingnow.com/transforming-the-ego/
It also occurs to me that instead of aiming for intense experiences (large amounts of alcohol, psychedelics, listening to music too-loudly, or even roller-coaster rides), perhaps I should learn to be more sensitive to the experiences around me. Enjoy more fully the little things in life, and perhaps the senses will open more fully to the richness of this world's sensory experiences.
I also think meditation could be extremely useful for a path of awakening / greater consciousness, but that's a separate subject.
open tabs: health,consciousness and spirituality
I have too many tabs open.
EG:
http://spiritualhealingjourney.com/2009/05/
http://spiritualhealingjourney.com/the-dance-of-consciousness/
http://www.nonduality.com/faq.htm
http://www.spiritualteachers.org/david_hawkins.htm
--> http://www.energygrid.com/spirit/2005/02ap-dowsinggod.html
behind the veil of consciousness
--> http://www.sacredscience.com/Goulden/SampleText.htm
BEHIND THE VEIL / BY DR. ALEXANDER GOULDEN / A FLAVOUR OF THE TEXT
or --> http://www.beyondtheveil.net/welcome.html
I googled: 6 year cycles: (because I was noticing a theme of roughly 6 year work-cycles in my life.)
--> http://creativenumerology.com/index.php?inc=includes/6year.html
--> http://creativenumerology.com/index.php?inc=includes/healingpower.html
treating sinusitis with +TENS
--> http://www.endfatigue.com/health_articles_r-s/Sinusitis-actually_a_yeast_infection.html
entheogenesis:
--> http://www.entheogen.tv/
--> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7131809202703329203
--> http://www.erowid.org/archive/psychonaut/mushrooms/mushroom2.htm
I heard "the ego is the false belief that it is possible to be separate from God, and still exist." (A belief derived from "A Course in Miracles", perhaps? So I googled: ego false belief:
--> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UniversalLifeOutreach/message/1010
http://whenreligionfails.blogspot.com/2011/05/transformation-of-ego.html
ACIM: http://www.followthecourse.com/posts/text-11v-dynamics-ego/
I was noticing that lightheadedness can last a day or two...
google: salvia residual dizziness:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/world-affairs/24883-doctors-participate-anti-salvia-propoganda.html
Interesting experience:
http://www.breakingopenthehead.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-873.html
"The main sense at that point was that the world as I had always experienced it was completely false, a dream, and that THIS was reality. I remember looking around at all the familiar things in my room and saying, "You mean this isn't real, and this, and this?" I was incredulous, yet I absolutely knew that it was true. After a couple of minutes, it calmed down a bit. I remember then lying back down, and bit by bit my ordinary life came back to me. Even then, though, I realized that what I was starting to remember, to piece together, might not turn out to be right. This was a very frightening experience."
That exactly describes the strong feeling I had, several times. Not so much after I get used to it as when the experience was more new...
EG:
http://spiritualhealingjourney.com/2009/05/
http://spiritualhealingjourney.com/the-dance-of-consciousness/
http://www.nonduality.com/faq.htm
http://www.spiritualteachers.org/david_hawkins.htm
--> http://www.energygrid.com/spirit/2005/02ap-dowsinggod.html
behind the veil of consciousness
--> http://www.sacredscience.com/Goulden/SampleText.htm
BEHIND THE VEIL / BY DR. ALEXANDER GOULDEN / A FLAVOUR OF THE TEXT
or --> http://www.beyondtheveil.net/welcome.html
I googled: 6 year cycles: (because I was noticing a theme of roughly 6 year work-cycles in my life.)
--> http://creativenumerology.com/index.php?inc=includes/6year.html
--> http://creativenumerology.com/index.php?inc=includes/healingpower.html
treating sinusitis with +TENS
--> http://www.endfatigue.com/health_articles_r-s/Sinusitis-actually_a_yeast_infection.html
entheogenesis:
--> http://www.entheogen.tv/
--> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7131809202703329203
--> http://www.erowid.org/archive/psychonaut/mushrooms/mushroom2.htm
I heard "the ego is the false belief that it is possible to be separate from God, and still exist." (A belief derived from "A Course in Miracles", perhaps? So I googled: ego false belief:
--> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UniversalLifeOutreach/message/1010
http://whenreligionfails.blogspot.com/2011/05/transformation-of-ego.html
ACIM: http://www.followthecourse.com/posts/text-11v-dynamics-ego/
I was noticing that lightheadedness can last a day or two...
google: salvia residual dizziness:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/world-affairs/24883-doctors-participate-anti-salvia-propoganda.html
Interesting experience:
http://www.breakingopenthehead.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-873.html
"The main sense at that point was that the world as I had always experienced it was completely false, a dream, and that THIS was reality. I remember looking around at all the familiar things in my room and saying, "You mean this isn't real, and this, and this?" I was incredulous, yet I absolutely knew that it was true. After a couple of minutes, it calmed down a bit. I remember then lying back down, and bit by bit my ordinary life came back to me. Even then, though, I realized that what I was starting to remember, to piece together, might not turn out to be right. This was a very frightening experience."
That exactly describes the strong feeling I had, several times. Not so much after I get used to it as when the experience was more new...
Past salvia experiences ("trips")
I so far do not keep a trip-log. If I were to reconstruct one, some trips would be summarized briefly as follows:
1) I am not my body. This is a recurrent and profound realization. Robert Monroe was right, I think. I am awareness. I'm merely wearing this body, for a while, like a glove.
2) Matrix-like nature of reality. A feeling that this is the red-pill; gateway to the "other side of the matrix", and that I might fall asleep here and wake up there and realize that my entire life was just a dream. (Read about the Maya, or the illusory nature of reality for more on this concept.)
3) "Avatar"-like nature. My body felt like a glove that I was wearing; somewhat more-loosely than normal after taking this "solvent" that was dissolving my connection to my body. I think we each went to the Rent-a-body outfit in that place from which we came, signed a form to live an Earth-life, then popped out as baby, forgetting who we are (due to the "veils of perception", or some sort of law of forgetting that says we decided to forget who we were so that we could live a new life unencumbered by preconceived notions about what we should do in this life.)
4) This is "serious stuff". I could comment at length on speculations about what that perception may mean, but I'm really not sure. It does NOT mean that I was thinking "this is strong stuff". Rather, it means to me, that this new perception of reality is getting at some "big secret" or truth that most people are not aware of. That's probably because most people are stuck in their egos most of their lives. (See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UniversalLifeOutreach/message/1010 )
5) Life is all a game, and there is no "right" or "wrong", per se. We are all just learning and growing here. This is a frustrating perception, because it makes me feel there is no justice. There may be karma, but I'm still not sure what to think on that topic. I've been angered before (while on Salvia) by this perception, and I'm still a little upset by this realization at times.
6) The brain/body comprise a transceiver, interfacing between "this reality" and some higher realm from which our soul/higher-self come. For example, I consider autistic people to have a transceiver that is just tuned to a slightly different frequency (as an analogy for neurodiversity.)
7) This body needs work. More exercise, better food, better sleep habits, etc. I need to work on cleaning out the "gunk" that is slowing my body down and making me tired so frequently. Frequent insights or perceptions are related to my body. Somehow, being slightly dissociated from the body makes it easier to look within the body for problems it may be having (and to realize that the body, and those problems is has, are not "you".)
These were all on light to medium-level doses. The heavy doses always seem to scare me a bit, so far, so I've yet to "break-through". But though I may visit some interesting realms, I've given to believe (based on my discussions with a buddy) that I'm unlikely to find much deeper, more-profound truths by going there. So it may be unnecessary at this point; maybe I've gotten all I need out of the experiences I've had.
In particular (referring to a recent experience), seeing strong visual effects can apparently be a bit difficult, because the brain seems to have a habit of thinking that everything it perceives is real. The ego is shocked and hurt when "reality" starts to dissolve right in front of its eyes. At least, that's how I felt when I had my strongest dose yet (about 0.07 grams of 20x, I guess, not particularly strong, but the strongest in recent history.) Call me a wimp; I guess I just haven't been ready for the really strong doses yet (after 9 months...sheesh.) They are emotionally taxing, because of beliefs my body/brain have that I didn't even know I had. Like, the floor and my sneaker just "shouldn't" turn into little swirling vortexes of some sort of apparent liquid/gaseous-like substance. You'd think "that's just a visual effect; what's the big deal?" But it's almost as if "Lady Salvia" is trying to tell me, really strongly, that this altered-perception of reality is MORE REAL than the usual brainwave-state I am walking around in, and my ego is saying NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... DONT TELL ME THAT!!!!!!!!! It's an intensely emotional and painful experience if you don't want to see the "truth" behind this reality. I had no bodily fear, but I found the experience uncomfortable to my psyche. Yet I think there is value in the suffering; once you are through it, you can begin to see through the illusions you've built up in your psyche (your false beliefs, of which the ego consists).
The following post seems quite apropos:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/world-affairs/24883-doctors-participate-anti-salvia-propoganda.html
"A strong dose of Salvia (one thick, solid bong hit) is like the peak of basically any other drug times two. It might put some things into perspective for you, albeit very bluntly and harshly. I can see why most people can't handle it. I can just barely handle it, and I can handle a lot.
If you are living a lie, or an immature, self-centered life, you will most likely have a very painful trip.
Salvia is full of absolute truth. Most people, in general, don't want to see the truth. Not really. If you are, however, at a point in your life where things seem overly dramatic, or confusing, a salvia trip will certainly put them into perspective for you, in one way or another."
===
However, further reading about HPPD and some feeling of residual lightheadedness that I have been noticing has me thinking that it might be wise to quit playing around with Salvia, at least for a while. Frustrating, since I still haven't obtained "breakthrough", but maybe being (or becoming) more grounded in "this reality" requires me to *NOT* "break-through" to some apparently-other "reality", or whatever would occur. However, I don't know...I have trouble believing there's any harm is "just one" breakthrough...
But the light doses seem not to usually bring any new strong insights. I think Salvia may have taught me all I need to know, for now, until such time as I've integrated and acted on my new understandings.
1) I am not my body. This is a recurrent and profound realization. Robert Monroe was right, I think. I am awareness. I'm merely wearing this body, for a while, like a glove.
2) Matrix-like nature of reality. A feeling that this is the red-pill; gateway to the "other side of the matrix", and that I might fall asleep here and wake up there and realize that my entire life was just a dream. (Read about the Maya, or the illusory nature of reality for more on this concept.)
3) "Avatar"-like nature. My body felt like a glove that I was wearing; somewhat more-loosely than normal after taking this "solvent" that was dissolving my connection to my body. I think we each went to the Rent-a-body outfit in that place from which we came, signed a form to live an Earth-life, then popped out as baby, forgetting who we are (due to the "veils of perception", or some sort of law of forgetting that says we decided to forget who we were so that we could live a new life unencumbered by preconceived notions about what we should do in this life.)
4) This is "serious stuff". I could comment at length on speculations about what that perception may mean, but I'm really not sure. It does NOT mean that I was thinking "this is strong stuff". Rather, it means to me, that this new perception of reality is getting at some "big secret" or truth that most people are not aware of. That's probably because most people are stuck in their egos most of their lives. (See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UniversalLifeOutreach/message/1010 )
5) Life is all a game, and there is no "right" or "wrong", per se. We are all just learning and growing here. This is a frustrating perception, because it makes me feel there is no justice. There may be karma, but I'm still not sure what to think on that topic. I've been angered before (while on Salvia) by this perception, and I'm still a little upset by this realization at times.
6) The brain/body comprise a transceiver, interfacing between "this reality" and some higher realm from which our soul/higher-self come. For example, I consider autistic people to have a transceiver that is just tuned to a slightly different frequency (as an analogy for neurodiversity.)
7) This body needs work. More exercise, better food, better sleep habits, etc. I need to work on cleaning out the "gunk" that is slowing my body down and making me tired so frequently. Frequent insights or perceptions are related to my body. Somehow, being slightly dissociated from the body makes it easier to look within the body for problems it may be having (and to realize that the body, and those problems is has, are not "you".)
These were all on light to medium-level doses. The heavy doses always seem to scare me a bit, so far, so I've yet to "break-through". But though I may visit some interesting realms, I've given to believe (based on my discussions with a buddy) that I'm unlikely to find much deeper, more-profound truths by going there. So it may be unnecessary at this point; maybe I've gotten all I need out of the experiences I've had.
In particular (referring to a recent experience), seeing strong visual effects can apparently be a bit difficult, because the brain seems to have a habit of thinking that everything it perceives is real. The ego is shocked and hurt when "reality" starts to dissolve right in front of its eyes. At least, that's how I felt when I had my strongest dose yet (about 0.07 grams of 20x, I guess, not particularly strong, but the strongest in recent history.) Call me a wimp; I guess I just haven't been ready for the really strong doses yet (after 9 months...sheesh.) They are emotionally taxing, because of beliefs my body/brain have that I didn't even know I had. Like, the floor and my sneaker just "shouldn't" turn into little swirling vortexes of some sort of apparent liquid/gaseous-like substance. You'd think "that's just a visual effect; what's the big deal?" But it's almost as if "Lady Salvia" is trying to tell me, really strongly, that this altered-perception of reality is MORE REAL than the usual brainwave-state I am walking around in, and my ego is saying NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... DONT TELL ME THAT!!!!!!!!! It's an intensely emotional and painful experience if you don't want to see the "truth" behind this reality. I had no bodily fear, but I found the experience uncomfortable to my psyche. Yet I think there is value in the suffering; once you are through it, you can begin to see through the illusions you've built up in your psyche (your false beliefs, of which the ego consists).
The following post seems quite apropos:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/world-affairs/24883-doctors-participate-anti-salvia-propoganda.html
"A strong dose of Salvia (one thick, solid bong hit) is like the peak of basically any other drug times two. It might put some things into perspective for you, albeit very bluntly and harshly. I can see why most people can't handle it. I can just barely handle it, and I can handle a lot.
If you are living a lie, or an immature, self-centered life, you will most likely have a very painful trip.
Salvia is full of absolute truth. Most people, in general, don't want to see the truth. Not really. If you are, however, at a point in your life where things seem overly dramatic, or confusing, a salvia trip will certainly put them into perspective for you, in one way or another."
===
However, further reading about HPPD and some feeling of residual lightheadedness that I have been noticing has me thinking that it might be wise to quit playing around with Salvia, at least for a while. Frustrating, since I still haven't obtained "breakthrough", but maybe being (or becoming) more grounded in "this reality" requires me to *NOT* "break-through" to some apparently-other "reality", or whatever would occur. However, I don't know...I have trouble believing there's any harm is "just one" breakthrough...
But the light doses seem not to usually bring any new strong insights. I think Salvia may have taught me all I need to know, for now, until such time as I've integrated and acted on my new understandings.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Do we need pain?
I googled: our soul needs pain to learn
I found:
http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/index.php/t-45269.html
..Of course we need pain. Pain is great.
Pain is an important part of who you are and how you become. It is the signs that tell us what areas need attention. Both mental and emotional pains are equally important to the pleasures.
...
I do think we need pain, of various sorts, to learn. I conclude that because I believe this "reality" in which we live (the Maya, or the illusory reality), is one that is created, and as such was designed for our experiences. Only the experiences, and the lessons we learn from them and integrate into our beings, have any lasting value. Everything else is temporary, and illusory.
I think some mild to medium-strength Salvia trips have aided me in some of my recent insights and realizations. I can't recommend for or against taking Salvia as an aide to understanding oneself and the universe. I can merely say that I think it's helped me see what, inside me and in the world, isn't "real", and as such I can reprogram my understanding and approach to life by debugging my psyche, and removing some of the illusory notions. However, the actual insights I get are generally very simple, and merely point the way to greater understanding. For example, I once noticed that my bowels felt clogged-up. Okay, it's not such a great topic of discussion, but the point is, I'm often reminded of things I may already know, but wasn't paying attention to, when in the light salvia trance (say, just one leaf, smoked). I also sometimes think I have a different personality; a deeper personality, beneath the mask of the ego.
Anyway, the actual insight that led me to create this post was that pain is needed for contrast. Without evil, how would we recognize good? Without "bad" music, how would we recognize "good" music. The latter example seems like a poor one, since music tastes vary so greatly, but perhaps the two are more similar than they at first seem; do not also judgements of what is "evil" and what is "good" vary widely from one belief-system or religion to the next?
Mind you, it isn't a salvia insight. Nor is it a very "deep" insight. Perhaps I should just call it a guess, or a conclusion I arrived at through observation and recalling reading something like that before.
I found:
http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/index.php/t-45269.html
..Of course we need pain. Pain is great.
Pain is an important part of who you are and how you become. It is the signs that tell us what areas need attention. Both mental and emotional pains are equally important to the pleasures.
...
I do think we need pain, of various sorts, to learn. I conclude that because I believe this "reality" in which we live (the Maya, or the illusory reality), is one that is created, and as such was designed for our experiences. Only the experiences, and the lessons we learn from them and integrate into our beings, have any lasting value. Everything else is temporary, and illusory.
I think some mild to medium-strength Salvia trips have aided me in some of my recent insights and realizations. I can't recommend for or against taking Salvia as an aide to understanding oneself and the universe. I can merely say that I think it's helped me see what, inside me and in the world, isn't "real", and as such I can reprogram my understanding and approach to life by debugging my psyche, and removing some of the illusory notions. However, the actual insights I get are generally very simple, and merely point the way to greater understanding. For example, I once noticed that my bowels felt clogged-up. Okay, it's not such a great topic of discussion, but the point is, I'm often reminded of things I may already know, but wasn't paying attention to, when in the light salvia trance (say, just one leaf, smoked). I also sometimes think I have a different personality; a deeper personality, beneath the mask of the ego.
Anyway, the actual insight that led me to create this post was that pain is needed for contrast. Without evil, how would we recognize good? Without "bad" music, how would we recognize "good" music. The latter example seems like a poor one, since music tastes vary so greatly, but perhaps the two are more similar than they at first seem; do not also judgements of what is "evil" and what is "good" vary widely from one belief-system or religion to the next?
Mind you, it isn't a salvia insight. Nor is it a very "deep" insight. Perhaps I should just call it a guess, or a conclusion I arrived at through observation and recalling reading something like that before.
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