piracetam

The Salvia D. experiences and expiriments seem to be mostly on-hold for the last few months. I've had some very low-dose sessions, but have not made any attempt to "break through" or anything close, lately. Again, I think the important thing right now for me is to engage in life, engage in my job, and if there was anything at all escapist about SD usage (which isn't really an accurate characterization of my usage but may have an element of truth to it), then to discontinue usage for now and just learn better how to modulate my experience of life in this reality using techniques available to the body without drugging it too much. Techniques such as breathing (holotropic breathwork and breathing circles.) I mean to go back to that, and possibly, eventually, integrate some form of Salvia usage into breathing sessions. But until I'm doing the breathing, I'm hesitant to pick the salvia usage back up again. So for now I mostly just experiment with caffeine and alcohol, much to my dismay. They are equally dangerous drugs for me, and I should quit them both. Caffeine usage tends to ruin my sleep, and alcohol usage sometimes does, sometimes doesn't, depending on quantity and how late I drink. I really should exercise more; that would probably form enough of the needed substances such that I would not really need to be supplementing with ALCAR, for example. I take a gram or two or so of Piracetam each day, some ginseng (500mg yesterday), way too much coffee and/or tea and hot chocolate... and yesterday I was highly awake even at midnight or so, but woke at 5am. Now I'm dead tired and it's taken me almost 2 hours to begin to really wake up. Does not bode well for having a highly creative and productive day at work today, but perhaps I did enough creative thinking in the past couple of weeks that I can just dig in and start coding, start implementing my ideas of the past few weeks. I really would like to start impressing some people at work, and feel like that is necessary to keeping this job long-term, or even medium-term. Although I probably don't have to impress them "too" much; I think this is a fairly low-key job. But it's important to me to start building something I can be proud of. Piracetam? The title of my post... We'll see how that goes. I'm taking it with choline bitartrate. Both came in bulk, about a pound each, from a seller on Amazon.com. I'm not sure what the piracetam does, but I think I do notice a subtle and perhaps sometimes not-so-subtle improvement in the clarity of my thinking. I have no objective measurement for the change in cognition, if any, though. I have at times felt like the room looks brighter after taking it, like things are more "alive"-looking. So it's probably doing something, but again it's subtle and not really indistinguishable from a placebo-effect. I guess I'll have to try the noopept soon (1000X stronger than piracetam, they say.) Again I wish I had an objective measurement for the difference. I'm fairly certain they do not act as stimulants.

hit by a train

my chat with a skype buddy [last night] salvia is sometimes a good temporary cure for depression, and can have lasting positive effects, used a few times. i think it loses its usefulness for that purpose after a few weeks/months of use, because usually one has gotten all the change they can get out of it by then this morning [8:02:27 AM] me: okay funny "he used to bring my books into McDonalds with him" from that video Uploaded by healthysuperfood on Feb 10, 2010 http://www.superfoodhealthyliving.com/article-Marine-Phytoplankton.html [8:04:48 AM] me: http://www.enerex.ca/en/product_categories/gastro-intestinal-g-i-tract-support [8:24:04 AM] me: human in this body was trying to ask a question. I'm not sure I can quite remember that question he was trying to ask [8:24:19 AM] me: something like ............. so why would anyone do this? [8:24:31 AM] me: but human didn't really know how to ask the question when he was there [8:24:34 AM] me: in that state [8:24:48 AM] me: human tried to ask the question but all he could do was stare out in space [8:24:59 AM] me: and think something like .... what is this reality here? [8:25:19 AM] me: while looking outside and seeming to vaguely... almost... remember something....... [8:25:22 AM] me: but what...... [8:25:30 AM] me: human couldn't quite think what he was remembering...... [8:25:50 AM] me: human was looking out at the grass..........hearing the rooster.... trying to remember........ [8:25:56 AM] me: it was some dream-like state........ [8:26:01 AM] me: what was it...... [8:26:06 AM] me: so hard to identify...... [8:26:18 AM] me: so hard to explain....where was he....or where was he going... [8:26:23 AM] me: the weight.... it was so strong [8:26:28 AM] me: the pull....was so strong [8:26:32 AM] me: then the pull subsides [8:26:36 AM] me: and the human is back [8:26:39 AM] me: and the human is typing [8:26:46 AM] me: and he stares at his screen blankly [8:26:51 AM] me: as the pull subsides [8:27:02 AM] me: the salvia creature has lost its grip on the human [8:27:04 AM] me: lol [8:27:19 AM] me: okay that was the first strong hit in a while [8:27:21 AM] me: whew [8:27:56 AM] me: it wasn't strong enough [8:28:05 AM] me: one hit didn't allow the salvia-creature to take me away [8:28:07 AM] me: but wow [8:28:10 AM] me: it was weird [8:28:16 AM] me: not "eerie" the way it used to feel [8:28:26 AM] me: I think that "eerieness" was a fear I had of it, partly [8:28:30 AM] me: I have no fear anymore [8:28:35 AM] me: I am too familiar with it [8:28:41 AM] me: I think I am ready. I could go there now [8:28:47 AM] me: but should I???? [8:28:48 AM] me: I dont know [8:28:51 AM] me: maybe not [8:28:56 AM] me: sigh [8:30:01 AM] me: when one comes back, one might be almost-traumatized [8:30:08 AM] me: because it's like coming back from a near train-hit [8:30:23 AM] me: then he thinks "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT????!!!!!!!!!!!!" [8:30:45 AM] me: certainly if he never did it before he would think that [8:31:28 AM] me: oh I was about to fax my employment documents [8:31:31 AM] me: lol almost forgot [8:31:32 AM] me: lol [8:32:26 AM] me: not really but when you're almost hit by a train, metaphorically speaking, it's hard to just get up and walk to FedEx Copy Print and continue as if nothing happened [8:32:32 AM] me: even if you're used to being hit by trains [8:32:35 AM] me: lol [8:33:04 AM] me: okay here i go off to fax [8:33:06 AM] me: whew [8:33:57 AM] me: (what better time than when I'm done with my job search and haven't started the new job yet?. Wish I'd gone further, but maybe that was far enough for now.) [8:35:28 AM] me: (and to think I was telling a former mushroom-eating acid-taking girl last night that I thought I had accepted that I was about done with Salvia, at least for a while.... hmm) [8:36:45 AM] me: it's probably better i not go further today [8:36:49 AM] me: i have humans to talk to [8:36:53 AM] me: TCS humans [8:37:05 AM] me: finish the application process etc [8:37:12 AM] me: best for me to be human today [8:38:47 AM] me: the human laughs as he notices the difficulty of walking [8:38:50 AM] me: he is still dizzy [8:39:14 AM] me: imagining stumbling into Fedex and people wondering whether to report public drunkenness [8:39:18 AM] me: he hesitates [8:39:24 AM] me: wonders if he should wait 5 more minutes [8:39:31 AM] me: nah, i'll be fine by the time i get there [8:39:44 AM] me: but i dont think i want to bicycle, hmm, do I? hmmm [8:39:50 AM] me: scary thought [8:41:21 AM] me: Okay *that* is one way I might explain it to someone [8:41:28 AM] me: if asked "why is salvia useful?" [8:42:04 AM] me: I might answer "Some people have never been hit by a train. Being hit by a train causes them to rethink every belief they've held on to about life and death. Salvia does that, without killing the body." [8:42:32 AM] me: off course, it's an experience few people would choose twice [8:42:42 AM] me: :D [8:43:21 AM] me: BUT IF YOU'VE LOST A COUPLE MILLION DOLLARS AND ARE STILL STRUGGLING TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES OF LOSS THAT ENGENDERS.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [8:43:26 AM] me: wellll...... [8:43:37 AM] me: you might want to be hit by a few trains [8:44:24 AM] me: *now* I can ride my bike then I anonymize myself and post this, now I'm off

Gregg Braden / Appreciation

Watched/Listened to Gregg Braden's Language of the Divine Matrix on Youtube. I don't agree with all of his conclusions exactly, but the message was fairly clear, that we create our reality from our hearts, and from what we believe in the present moment. I don't smoke or chew Salvia D. often lately. When I smoke it, the smoke seems horribly harsh and my mild bronchitis for the last 7 weeks has been discouraging me from doing so. And again, no new insights. I think he/she/it has told me all I need to know for now, or that I've gotten all that is useful out of the experience. Nevertheless, I haven't given up completely (maybe I should.) But I think I should schedule my experiences, say once a month at most, so that I can prepare properly and get something (somewhat) substantial out of the experience. I had for a time considered using Salvia as a means of coping through a transition to an altered sleep cycle such as the UberMan or EveryMan or Dynamaxion sleep schedules, which are a total of 2 to 3 hours of sleep each day (4.5 in the case of Everyman, with its 3-hour core sleep), but I have serious doubts I'll ever try those. It would be an interesting exercise in discipline, however... maybe there's yet a way I can work up the self-discipline or determination to endure the sleep-deprivation in the first week that is so difficult to get through. Hmm... I still think the somewhat altered-state described in Steve Pavlina's post about his experience with an "Uberman" type of polyphasic sleep schedule was interesting enough to possibly be worth the trouble of getting to, and that I'd learn something from the process. But motivating myself to actually make such a radical change to my sleep schedule? Where does that kind of motivation come from? Maybe if I can convince myself I'll somehow solve my financial problems (high credit card debt at high interest), then I could do it. Hmm. Maybe in that altered state in my free time I'd finally be motivated to do all the clean-up I've been procrastinating about. But that seems unlikely; if I don't do it now, why would I then? I still want to *someday* have a *really* intense Salvia experience, hopefully a "breakthrough", and see where it can take me. Amazing that I still haven't gotten there. Either I'm chicken (but don't feel like it), or it's just not meant to be. I don't think it's impossible to do with my latest extract (which is getting a bit old; I wonder if it loses potency), yet I've only been to the mild hallucination stage. Talking about it makes me tempted to try again, though it's late enough tonight that I'm probably just going to crash for the night and sleep. Lately I'm more interested in non-drug approaches to altering my mental state. Most interesting is Holotropic Breathwork, or breathing circles, or circular-breathing in-general. I think the transpersonal consciousness state is clearly attainable through such techniques, because I'm convinced I was there in February in a Holotropic Breathwork workshop, and that I was at least mildly into that state in a breathing circle since then. Much can be brought up and released (automatically) through entering that state. Salvia doesn't really seem to teach the body anything. It can teach the mind, the person, the consciousness, but not the body. To really learn the lessons we need to learn in this incarnation, we need to teach our bodies and brains techniques for modulating our mental and emotional states. Such as, as Gregg Braden may teach, and many religions may teach, the importance of appreciation. Having an attitude of appreciation is truly powerful, or so I'm led to believe. I can't say I've yet integrated that teaching, and practiced it.

latest

See http://nucleargreen.blogspot.com/ .. a much better blog than mine. Maybe Fukushima should convince us all to switch to PASSIVELY-SAFE molten-salt-reactors! Okay I don't seem to have been posting about Salvia lately. I wasn't using it as much in the past several months, though in recent weeks I seem to be going back to it. I seem to go back to it when I have a strong desire to make some changes in my life, and when I see myself falling back into complacency and old patterns and want to shake myself out of it. Plus I'm thinking of doing another Holotropic Breathwork workshop, and if I'm willing to put up the $150 and a day for that, why not do some work on myself with the help of Salvia. So I'm sensitizing myself with daily hits of plain leaf, and some occasional extract. But I really want to set up the time and place for a more intense trip. I guess I could plan one with a friend to act as my sitter... I really doubt I need a sitter, but if I take enough hits to really "lose it" for more than a few seconds, I guess it may be helpful in reorienting. I have wondered if insights have largely stopped coming because the "spirit of salvia" is annoyed with me for abusing it, partly by occasionally using Salvia in a public place, mixed with alcohol, generally chewed. Last time I did that a doorman wouldn't let me back in the club and wanted me to go around and show my ID to someone at the front door.... I panicked a little and rode my bicycle all the way home (maybe 6 miles). Sure, it isn't illegal, but maybe using any non-prescription substance besides alcohol in a club situation might be considered to be either illegal or improper; I'm not sure. It certainly made me think a lot about that use, and whether it was improper, inappropriate, offensive to the "spirit of Salvia", if there is such a thing. I'm not generally one to intentionally and arbitrarily take on many beliefs, but I can believe there may be a "spirit of salvia" because of the strong feelings of the quite profound-feeling insights early-on. One that I'm reminded of is the "Matrix-like" feeling, that this "reality" we live in isn't quite real and that this is a big secret. I think part of the meaning of this information was that the information is not for everyone, and I really shouldn't be pushing it on people (either the information or the use of Salvia D.) So if there's anything offensive to the spirit of salvia about my activities, it's probably mostly my occasional use in public situations, or even moreso perhaps my tendency to share information or experiences about Salvia without due respect for it, for the experience, and perhaps for the spirit behind the information that is transmitted. Note that the "information" given seems to me to be transmitted largely as feelings or impressions; the communication is definitely non-verbal, and my translation into words is not always correct. That's one thing that makes it hard to write about. There's an extreme eerieness to the feeling of the first strong hit of Salvia D, and I am still sometimes amazed by it when I take a strong-enough hit to totally "lose it" (lose touch with this reality, even if only for a few seconds, as is usually the case with me. I've yet to have strong visionary experiences.) It has occurred to me that the strong visionary experiences may be more possible if I were to make amends with the spirit of Salvia, show it some reverence or respect, and then invite it to show me it's world. I guess I should try that sometime when I'm ready for a strong series of hits. (I doubt any one hit would take me completely "there", since it hasn't seemed to quite make it yet.) (UTShaman says the spirit is male. I don't know; haven't met him/her yet; most seem to think it's female.) I might eventually give up my use of Salvia, though I really don't want to completely because I still think it's extremely useful for loosening up the tight grip of ego patterns and addictions, expecially ones that tend to lead to depression. It could probably help my older brother get unstuck and lose 100 to 150 pounds, because I think that's largely emotional in origin, but it would require his interest and will to change, and besides, he CHOSE his current life of self-destruction (well, getting to 330+ lbs last I knew and being barely able to breathe seems self-destructive to me...), and at whatever level or for whatever reason he chose that path of life, I need to honor it. This is hard, because I tend to judge some behaviors as time-wasting and resource-wasting, but if I see all life as experience because the creator/"god"/all-that-is wants to experience all possibilities (WITH NO JUDGEMENT!), then I should also drop my judgement about paths in life that seem to me to be wasteful. I still think governments shouldn't encourage such behavior so much as it fund it to the extent they do, providing people who could be able-bodied, somewhat-productive individuals with, literally, a free-lunch.

sneezing

I may be gluten-intolerant. But there are many factors. I had quite a bit of candy recently, since Sunday, and that's what I recall starting my sneezing. It's probably yeast (candida)-related.

Twice today I've chewed two leaves to stop my sneezing. Each time it seemed to work for a while (better this second time, perhaps), but at the "cost" of feeling weird at work. Too weird, I sometimes fear... Can't say I exactly "recommend" this usage of Salvia leaves, but I was desperate (I was having sneezing fits for several minutes at a time), so feeling a little "weird" for a few minutes seems potentially worth it. Though something always feels "wrong" about being in the salvia-based altered-state around other people who are working. It's hard to say why...

I guess it's just not a state I would normally attempt work in. For that matter, what am I doing right now (practicing my typing, to see if it is even possible? So far I've done okay, but I had to backspace a lot...)

spinal undulation

What may be a Salvia-insight is that, again, I think it would be helpful for me to "loosen" my spine. My habit of "cracking" my neck during mild Salvia sessions concerned me a bit, but I'm fairly sure I haven't been hurting myself. Nevertheless, to move toward a healthier type of exercise, based on my observation of myself making undulating fish-like movements while salvianated in bed, I thought to find some information about undulation of the spine, so I found these:

google for:

undulating spinal

-->

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg-PTkpE06A

http://www.scribd.com/doc/76363495/Self-Awakening-Yoga
Well, I haven't read much of that yet...interesting that it mentions Kripalu...


This is exactly the sort of undulation I was talking about:

http://www.yogaia.org/about.htm

"The Key to Yogaia is the undulating spinal wave, in every movement of the practice, whether standing, sitting, or kneeling, bending back and forwards, twisting, reclining, or upside down."

Again, it seems to me to be a salvia-insight that this sort of undulation may help me loosen my spine, which may be, perhaps, to open up the energy centers/chakras of the body.

Dale Pendell: Pharmako/Poeia

A very interesting chapter on Salvia is reproduced on this page:
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172878

Perhaps connected to some degree to a statement on that page, here's my rather poor/crude comparison of three drugs:

Alcohol:

Inhibits pain, enhances emotion (disinhibits), can amplify both good and bad emotions. Also boosts the ego. This can be dangerous...

Cannabis:

Inhibits pain and anxiety at all levels, but does not boost ego.

Salvia:

Inhibits the irrational dramas and baggage that one carries with them throughout much of their incarnation. One is left as a pure awareness, without any verbal thought, forgetting who or what they were as that personality, and perhaps remembering (or at least having a deja-vu feeling of) who they were before this incarnation.

Actually, I still have some trouble with calling Salvia a "drug." Sure, I suppose it is, technically, but it feels *so* different from anything I've called a drug before that. It's more like a key to unlock secrets of the universe that we have hidden from ourselves (as part of our agreement to play this "game" of life here, this game of experience, and to learn the lessons it has for us.)

spinal energy travels in a circle during sex?

This is an apparent insight from this morning's Salvia-extract experience. Again I had a sub-hallucinogenic dose, and napped soon afterwards. I again did some spine-cracking movements (neck and upper-back), apparently hoping to loosen the spine further and grind some of the calcification off of the bones (I sometimes do this for several minutes, though it wasn't quite that long this time.) Anyway, while doing this, I was thinking about how it seems like energy moves up and down through the spine, and it seems like the interface between multidimensional-consciousness and this body is through the spine. And it seems as if sex moves energy up and down the spine, so it occurred to me that if a couple is having sex, that sex-energy can move in a circle, up one person's spine and down the other.

I don't know if this is true, but found this page from a search for "sex energy circle sacred":

http://wildtantra.com/2011/10/wildtantra-circles-of-light/

..with a quote from Osho that agrees with my apparent insight:

“Tantra gives you a dimension of a higher relaxation which is positive. Both partners melting with each other give vital energy to each other. They become a circle,
and their energy begins to move in a circle.
They are giving life to each other…”
Osho

disassociating from sleepiness?

A novel use for Salvia?

When the pull of sleepiness is coming on, trying to get me to fall asleep at work, just one or two leaves, chewed, seems to pull me out of it. It's a strange new use I've found for it. I'd like to hear if anyone else has tried that, and if they have an explanation for why/how that can work. It's fairly clearly not a stimulant, so how does kappa-opioid stimulation cause cancel out the effect of sleepiness?

http://journals.lww.com/anesthesiology/Abstract/1995/01000/Effects_of_Opioid_Microinjections_in_the_Nucleus.19.aspx
" the kappa agonist caused no changes in sleep‐wakefulness states."

http://bja.oxfordjournals.org/content/101/4/542.full
"sleep-producing effects through agonism at the kappa-opioid"

Strange... actually, more intense amounts (smoked extract) often helps me to relax my body and nap afterwards (fall asleep while/after coming up). So it's dual effect is hard to explain.

I also have this fear/hypothesis that daily use might degrade sleep quality, but it seems unsupported by the evidence. I'm functioning regularly on 5 to 6 hours a sleep, which for me seems amazing that I don't "crash" even more than I do every day.